Intoxicated
by HPisObsessive
Summary: Harry come home from rons bachelor party a little but tipsy.


A/N Again im bored! this is a funny fic. Harry gets Hammered!! lol read and review!  
  
Intoxicated  
  
Molly Weasley hadn't talked to her daughter in some time, but now she felt it was necessary. She Flooed over to Ginny's flat, happy to find the young redhead woman home. Ginny sat in the chair by the fire, discussing her latest problems at work with Molly's head in the fireplace. Suddenly, a large crash came from the entranceway of her flat.  
  
"Ginny, dear, what was that?" Molly's worried head asked.  
  
"Not sure, Mum," Ginny replied, trying to keep her calm. "Maybe I should check it out."  
  
"Be careful dear. Oh, I wish Harry was home to protect you!"  
  
Ginny walked to the front entrance way and was surprised to see what had caused the noise. Harry Potter was standing there, looking rather intoxicated. He reached over to hang up his jacket on the coat rack, missed it by a foot, and the jacket dropped to the floor.  
  
"How was Ron's bachelor party?" Ginny asked dryly. Harry jumped in surprise at her voice, bumped into the coat rack, knocking it over, resulting in another loud crash.  
  
Molly's voice wafted in from the living room. "Ginny, dear, is everything all right?"  
  
"Yes, Mum. It's just the puppy. I'll talk to you later!" Ginny called out.  
  
"Alright, dear. Goodnight..." she replied, and Ginny knew she had gone.  
  
Harry looked at her, quite astonished. "Wes gots a puppy?" he slurred.  
  
Ginny shook her head. "No, Harry, we didn't get a puppy. That was a cover story, so my mother didn't realize her beloved son-in-law was a slobbering drunk."  
  
"Ooh! What's its name? Can we name it Bob? Bob's a good name!" Harry said, clapping his hands together in glee, looking around for the non-existent puppy. "Come here, Bob, here boy!"  
  
Ginny rolled her eyes and sighed. "Must have been a good bachelor party."  
  
Harry giggled. "I had a drunk. I mean drink. Well, maybe I have two. Or was it ten?"  
  
"Oh, did you, now?" Ginny asked sarcastically.  
  
Harry nodded his head feverously. He wandered into the living room. Well, he tried to wander into the living room, but walked into the wall twice on the way.  
  
"Would you like a glass of water?" Ginny asked softly, trying to prepare her husband for the hang over that was sure to appear in the morning.  
  
"No," Harry said absentmindedly, but then switched the conversation at a fast pace. "There were dancing witches. Pretty ones. They started to take off their clothes."  
  
"Really?" Ginny asked stiffly. "And did you enjoy that?" If he doesn't answer this one right, I hope to heck he gets a killer hang over. In fact, I'll make sure he does.  
  
Harry bit his lip, as if trying to think, but yelped in pain when he bit too hard. Ginny sighed as she walked over to him, taking his face in her hands to inspect him. He had no injury. Yet.  
  
"No," Harry said.  
  
"No, what?"  
  
"I didn't enjoy it. I could only think of you. So I came home early," he said, and leaned in to give her a kiss. Ginny responded, and started to unbutton his shirt. So, he's a little drunk. It's not like I'm taking advantage of him. Well, maybe he deserves to be taken advantaged of. Dancing witches, indeed.  
  
"Hey, I didn't know you had a puppy," came the unexpected voice of Molly from the fire.  
  
Harry jumped back in surprised, knocking a lamp off of the table as he fell to the floor.  
  
"Mum," Ginny sighed, frustrated. "Do you want grandchildren?"  
  
Molly's head looked around at the scene in the living room. "Oh, sorry, dear," she said quickly before she popped away.  
  
Ginny walked over to Harry, hoping to pick up where they left off. She found that her husband was snoring in a drunken induced sleep.  
  
"The bachelorette party better be good," she grumbled unhappily.  
  
Saturday evening, Harry was preparing some soup for a late dinner when he was interrupted by a very shrill voice.  
  
"Harry!" Molly Weasley called from the living room Floo. Harry groaned and rubbed his temple. To go along with his queasy stomach, he had had a splitting headache all day. He had looked for the Hangover Away potion but they seemed to have run out of it.  
  
"Yes, Molly?" he asked as he entered the living room.  
  
"Harry, it's about Ginny."  
  
"She's at the party," Harry said. "She's not due back for a couple of hours."  
  
"Yes, I know," Molly said with a small smile on her lips. "But I think you should go get her now."  
  
Harry sighed knowingly. "All right."  
  
Within minutes, Harry was walking into The Three Broomsticks. He smiles as he recognized a few women he knew. Hermione, Susan, Hannah, Lavender and Parvarti were all standing near the bar, chatting and laughing. Molly waved to Harry and she pointed to someone. Harry's jaw dropped as he saw his wife dancing.  
  
On top of a table.  
  
At least she still has her clothes on, he thought dryly. Madame Rosmerta walked up to him, grinning widely.  
  
"Here to collect your wife?" she asked, giggling at the sight of Ginny swinging around a pink feather boa.  
  
"You know better than to give Firewhiskey to a Weasley," Harry scolded lightly, nodding to the glass Ginny was holding. Now, she was very busy apologizing profusely to the man she had spilt her drink all over.  
  
Madam Rosmerta laughed. "That's nothing. You should have seen Fred and George last weekend."  
  
Harry snorted. "Believe me, I've seen them. Quite the interesting time, my wedding was." Ginny saw him, and her face immediately brightened. She hurried to him, the poor man with Firewhiskey down the front of his robes forgotten. Ginny tackle hugged Harry, nearly knocking him over.  
  
"Hello, hon," she said, very enthusiastically.  
  
He wiped her spit from his face and smiled. "Hello there, yourself. And how are you?"  
  
"Oh, I'm fantabulous!" she exclaimed as she wrapped the pink feather boa around his neck. "Oh, that looks pretty!"  
  
His cheeks turned red and he reached up to remove it. She swatted at his hand and he let them drop to his side, leaving the boa hanging from his neck. He knew he would have bigger battles to win that night. "We should get going."  
  
She shook her head. "No way! This party is just getting started."  
  
"This party started four hours ago," he informed her patiently.  
  
"So?" she shrugged and waved her hand at him dismissively, nearly knocking the glasses of his nose. "It's still going."  
  
"Ginevra, have fun storming the castle," he said to her, quite seriously.  
  
"Oh!" she exclaimed, recognition crossing her face. "As you wish," she responded. It was a code derived from her favourite Muggle movie. It was created a couple years earlier after a DA reunion in which Ginny had drunk way too much Firewhiskey and, very loudly, told off two of her ex boyfriends. She had made Harry promise to save her from any other such embarrassing moment.  
  
One delirious bride to be, one gushing mother-in-law, several giggling former Gryffindor women, four You-Are-Very-Drunk-Ginevra codes, and half an hour later, Harry and Ginny finally stepped out of the pub.  
  
"Let's take a taxi home! Taxi drivers are always such interesting characters!" Ginny said excitedly. Harry was about to tell her this was impossible when her loud voice cut him off. "TAXI! TAXI! Me and my hubby here need a TAXI!" she yelled, standing in the middle of the road, and flailing her arms frantically.  
  
Harry smiled weakly at the witches and wizards that were staring at them. Normally, he was used to being gawked at; however, it was because he was the Boy Who Defeated the Dark Lord, not because he was the Man Married to The Crazy Lady.  
  
"Pink looks good on you," a teenaged wizard smirked at Harry.  
  
Alright, maybe it was because he was the Man Wearing the Pretty Pink Feather Boa.  
  
Harry could feel his face turning a deep shade of Weasley. "Ginny," he hissed at her, "we're in Hogsmeade. There are no taxis here!"  
  
Her arms dropped to her side. "Oh, right!" she exclaimed, smacking her palm to her forehead. Harry winced at the sound, but apparently it caused her no harm. She turned to him with a look of concern flashing across her face. "Oh, my goodness! Did you remember to walk Bob?"  
  
Harry was utterly and completely confused. "Who is Bob?"  
  
This sent Ginny into a fit of giggles, making her double over, and nearly fall to the ground. Finally, calming down a little, she told him, "Bob's our puppy."  
  
"Ginny, we don't have a puppy."  
  
"But if we did, you'd name him Bob!" she exclaimed, and renewed her giggle fit. Harry wrapped his arms around her to prevent her from falling over and Apparated them home.  
  
Late Sunday morning, Harry was sitting up in bed, reading Quidditch Through the Ages, while Ginny slumbered at his side. Finally, she rolled over, moaning, and half opened on eye to look at him.  
  
"Good morning, hon," he said brightly. She looked at him as if wanting to slap the cheerfulness off his face, but seemed to lack the energy to do so.  
  
"Be a dear and get me the Hangover Away potion," she mumbled.  
  
"Sorry, we're out."  
  
"It's on the bookshelf, behind Hogwarts: A History."  
  
"Why is it there?"  
  
"Because I knew you wouldn't find it."  
  
Harry looked at her, surprised. "Why'd you hide it from me?"  
  
"Dancing witches, indeed," she grumbled, pulling the covers over her head.  
  
"Too bad," he said, a bit miffed. "Get it yourself." When there was no reply, Harry sat for a few minutes, thinking. "Ginny?"  
  
"Hmm?" was the reply from under the blankets.  
  
"Maybe we should get a puppy named Bob."  
  
He was immediately whacked over the head with a pillow.  
  
The End 


End file.
